


could be my last dying breath

by beli_mawr



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Asexual Alana Maxwell, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell Are Best Friends, Drinking, Emotional Manipulation, Explosions, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, Italics, Kinda, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Minor Doug Eiffel/Daniel Jacobi, Non-Binary Daniel Jacobi, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Canon Compliant, Power Imbalance, Run-On Sentences, Trans Daniel Jacobi, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Very Minor, Warren Kepler Being an Asshole, Warren Kepler Has Feelings, and maxwell joins the si5 in december, i cant believe it took a spotify playlist for my enby arse to think of this, i found the timeline wiki halfway through writing this, i know its my fault for not looking before but oH MY GOD SERIOUSLY?, i use so many - apologies in advance, if any of my irls find this and recognise my writing style NO YOU DONT, im british and have no idea how america works bare with me, im sorry, it WAS but i had to fuck with the timeline a bit, its just a teeny bit at the end, its kepcobi idk what you were expecting, jacobi centric because i love him, listen to the song in the tags its good, no beta we die like maxwell, one day i will let alana maxwell punch kepler she deserves it, so things that break other things happens in january 2011, the jeiffel can be read as platonic if thats not your thing, these are both canon what, too many italics, warren kepler is his own warning imo, well aro ace but thats not a tag and it should be, you can tear HOH jacobi out of my cold dead hsnds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beli_mawr/pseuds/beli_mawr
Summary: "Daniel Jacobi is not an idiot, and if he was any less wasted, he’d, quite frankly, be offended at the implication. That being said, Alana Maxwell would – and often does – dispute this.She would, if she was three times more sober – or drunk – argue that being in a strange love-hate relationship with your boss is literally the epitome of idiocy. Well, she’s arguing it now anyway, but she’s about four shots of something, probably vodka, past coherency and  Daniel stopped listening properly about ten minutes ago."a non chronological series of events in the life of daniel jacobi, most regarding his relationship with warren kepler and the impacts of that(please let me know if i should add any warnings / tags)
Relationships: Daniel Jacobi & Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler & Alana Maxwell, Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler
Kudos: 6





	could be my last dying breath

**Author's Note:**

> i may have written this in six hours while stubbornly refusing to think about the implications of TMA 194/5 and listening the 'this is love' by air traffic controller on repeat after finding it on a spotify playlist. no one, and i mean no one, can tell me this song doesn't SCREAM kepcobi.  
> at least one of these things had an impact on the story. no prizes for guessing which.  
> also the jacobi playlist on spotify that has, among other bops, they/them by atlas and jhfly and this is love in it defo inspired this (on the extremely slim chance that whoever made this playlist sees this, i thank you for putting non binary jacobi at the forefront of my brain)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2E3wGL38zDuOhAXWiUMkPl  
> thank me later  
> also im firm in my belief that alana cares about jacobi more than she respects kepler

_March 23rd, 2013_

Daniel Jacobi is not an idiot, and if they were any less wasted, they’d, quite frankly, be extremely offended at the implication. That being said, Alana Maxwell would – and often does – dispute this.

She would, if she was three times more sober – or drunk – argue that being in a strange love-hate relationship with your boss is literally the epitome of idiocy. Well, she’s arguing it now anyway, but she’s about four shots of, something, probably vodka, past coherency and Jacobi stopped listening properly about ten minutes ago. As it stands, they’re both far too drunk to be having this conversation, sat on the kitchen floor in their apartment. Maxwell had only been with SI-5 for about six months when she’d walked into Jacobi’s temporary R&D lab and announced that she refused to live in a Goddard owned building any longer and that he was moving in with her so that they could actually afford rent on a decent place. 

Now, two years later, they’re just back from a mission, in fucking _Canada_ of all places, and Jacobi really doesn’t want to think about anything that happened in the two weeks they were there, at least not sober, so he stopped at a liquor store on their way home and bought the first four bottles of spirits he saw. Maxwell didn’t question it – it wasn’t the first time it’d happened and she doubts it’ll be the last. She doesn’t really get Jacobi’s obsession with Kepler, or the nature of their relationship, but Daniel had become like a sibling to her in her time at SI-5 and she’d had to put them back together after they’d been fucked over by Kepler more than once. She’s tried, so many times, to tell him that this isn’t healthy, that one day Kepler is going to break him beyond repair, that he’s going to follow Kepler somewhere she can’t save him from and maybe get himself killed. 

He never listens. They’re drawn to Kepler like a moth to a flame and one day they’ll catch and ignite like dry tinder, but until then they’ll insist that there’s _something there_. The worst thing, Alana thinks, is that she doesn’t know if he’s right or wrong, and a close second is that she’s not even sure he’ll stop when he crashes and burns. Explosions and fire are their thing, and they’ve never even pretended to be anything but sarcastic and self-destructive. There’s nothing she can do except listen to Daniel insist that ‘even if he wanted to hurt me, he couldn’t. I’m too fucked up for that’ with a worrying laugh, and watch as he spirals, engulfed by his own flames and not even realising he’s burning. She’ll be there to pick up the pieces, always, she’s promised them as much and she sure as hell isn’t going to back out of that. So, she sits on the floor with him in their shitty apartment, waiting for the takeout they’d ordered to arrive and listening to him attempt to recount the events of what she thinks was a week ago. She was there for some of it, and the rest she’s pretty certain she really doesn’t want to know, but she’s fairly sure she won’t remember this in the morning anyway, so she lets them rant.

“He didn’t, and I knew he wouldn’t, but it fucking hurt.”

* * *  
_March 11th, 2013_

They had been on a stakeout for the past two days. The only reason they were no longer on a stakeout – at least as far as Jacobi knew – was because Jacobi, with Maxwell’s help, had finally managed to convince Kepler that he was deadly serious about being willing to blow up their car if he had to sit there for any longer. In reality, Kepler had realised after two days of not seeing their target that Mr Cutter had probably given them the wrong address – possibly intentionally, possibly not – but he wasn’t going to correct Jacobi’s assumption. He’s learnt that if he gives Jacobi an inch (or makes them think he has), he can take a mile in return; it’s rather useful on missions, and if he can use that to try to ignore the actual feelings he might have for Jacobi, all the better. 

Not that he does. They’re co-workers, and if their relationship sometimes (more and more often recently) crosses more than a few lines of what is strictly allowed, it’s purely because it makes Jacobi better at their job. He’d argue that it’s effectively the same as allowing Maxwell to take technology that definitely isn’t allowed off-site home; he does what he has to to make his team better. So, when Jacobi and Maxwell walk into the bar attached to the motel they’re staying in, he doesn’t stop them or berate them for being so willing to drink on the job. Well, he does, but they can all tell his heart isn’t in it. It’s nearly midnight, so they’ll need to wait until tomorrow to contact command about the incorrect address anyway, and he figures that if he can get a good glass of whiskey out of the mess up, he may as well.

Jacobi, on the other hand, is as close to elated as he’s ever been. Which, honestly, isn’t really saying much, but still. They’re smiling wildly at Alana whenever Kepler isn’t looking, as if to say ‘I told you so.’ When Kepler does notice, he claims it’s just because they got to get out of the stakeout. They know Alana knows they’re talking shit, but they’re pretty sure Kepler buys their lie (he doesn’t). By one in the morning, they’re all at least a little bit past sober – Maxwell far more so than Jacobi and even further more so than Kepler. Jacobi isn’t sure how much either of them have drunk, just that it was a lot and not so much respectively, which isn’t really an answer but he’s far too far gone to care. All he knows right now is that Alana is trying to explain something about quantum mechanics to him while leaning, half asleep, against the wall of the booth they’re sat in, and Kepler is sat across from him sipping a glass of- well. He was, but when Jacobi looks back over, he isn’t, and it isn’t until they hear a cough from beside them – not Alana, the other side – and turns that they realise they completely missed Kepler finishing his drink and getting up.

“I’m going to go and get one more drink. Perhaps you better tell Alana to go get some rest.” It’s phrased as a question, but the tone of his voice tells Jacobi it isn’t one. It’s an order, and even sober Jacobi wouldn’t even try to argue with Kepler looking at him like that – not that he’d want to – so he helps Alana back to her room and makes sure she gets into bed, smiling when she drunkenly gives him a smile and a friendly peck on the cheek. They consider not going back to Kepler – curling up on the couch in Alana’s room and sleeping for the rest of the night – at least for a second. In reality though, they know they never would have done anything else, so they walk back to the bar, albeit slowly, and from the doorway sees Kepler sitting at their table with a glass for both of them. 

The rest of the night is hazy, but he remembers bits and pieces: downing his drink, watching as Kepler finished his own, intentionally slowly; a biting kiss that tasted like whiskey and regrets for the Jacobi of the morning to deal with; a hand on the back of their neck, fingers tugging the hair at the back of their head that they’d been growing out, just to see if they liked it (they did – this probably had nothing to do with it); nails tracing down bare sides and thighs. They also remember saying the words “I love you” in the heat of the moment, although there is no way in _hell_ they’ll admit that to anyone except Alana, especially considering the fact that Kepler didn’t say _anything_ back. He ignores the looks Kepler sends him in the next few days and pretends nothing had happened, despite the fact that he feels like someone’s taken his heart out of his chest and stamped on it.

* * *

_July 27th, 2014_

Kepler is flirting with the receptionist. He’s doing so terribly, but the other man is buying it, which doesn’t speak well of his previous relationships. Jacobi, along with Alana, is listening over comms, and he knows it’s for the mission but that doesn’t make him any less unimpressed. He’d said that he should go, or Alana, because they all knew how awful Kepler is at flirting – this is solidifying his argument and will definitely be used against Kepler in future. Alana had refused on the principle of ‘absolutely not’, and Kepler had just looked at Jacobi until they backed down – which they are really, really regretting right about now. He’d tried to follow Maxwell’s advice and stay away from Kepler (at least for a week), he honestly had, but avoiding a man you work with is disgustingly difficult. They know that Kepler picked up on it, because of course he did, and they’re almost certain this is some kind of twisted way of making them pay for it. 

The receptionist is, quite literally, eating out of Kepler’s hand – at least they’ll actually be able to get the key card they need from him. Jacobi is decidedly not impressed, especially when Maxwell says: “he sounds like you.”

“Fuck you.” There’s no heat behind either of their words.

\- - 

Two days later, when the building is on fire, they all know why. They haven’t, technically, gone against any of their mission parameters – retrieve or destroy the target; the target is very much destroyed, but they all know that that’s not why the building behind them is burning, and Kepler smiles to himself when Jacobi is helping Maxwell bandage her arm in the back seat.

* * *

_December 24th - 25th, 2013_

Daniel Jacobi is bleeding out on the floor of a warehouse in the middle of the night. He’s been shot, and he’s pretty sure half of his ribs and his right arm are broken, and his ankle is definitely sprained. They suppose that being thrown into a wall by the blast from an explosion can do that. They’re faintly aware that Kepler and Alana don’t know they didn’t make it out of the building, and they’re extremely unaware of where the hell their target has gone – hopefully they were caught by the explosion too, but Jacobi doesn’t know. Alana’s voice – at least he thinks it’s Alana – buzzes faintly through his earpiece where it’s fallen to the floor below him, but he can’t make out any of the quiet words through the high-pitched ringing in his ears, which he thinks is probably a concussion but he can’t focus enough to think about it right now. They try to push themself onto their feet, but putting any pressure on their arm or ankle makes them cry out in pain and feel like they’re about to black out, so they stop trying. He scrabbles for his earpiece with bloodied fingers, silently praying that the microphone hasn’t been fucked by the impact with the wall. They bring it as close to their ear as they can without hurting any more considerably than they already are, and is about to start speaking when they hear a voice, which must be Kepler’s, yell – at least they assume he’s yelling, considering they can actually, albeit very faintly, hear it through the ringing in their ears.

“Mr Jacobi, I sincerely hope that explosion means you’ve neutralised the target. If you would kindly make your way to the extraction point, where you’re _supposed_ to be now, quickly. Run, preferably.”

They’d usually make a sarcastic quip in response to that, but they definitely can’t think clearly enough to do that right now. He looks up as he tries to summon enough energy and focus to say something coherent and – oh. That’s a lot of blood on the wall. He supposes its probably his, but the implications of that aren’t really registering right now aside from _bad._ His vision is swimming and he feels nauseous, although he can’t actually figure out if those are recent developments and - 

“Mr Jacobi, if you aren’t at-” Kepler speaks again.

“Sir, I can’t, I can’t move.” He swallows against a wave of nausea as his vision of the floor and the expanding pool of his blood on it spin.

“Daniel, where are you?” They’re fairly sure that’s Maxwell.

“By the, south exit. Maybe the east, I don’t, I’m not sure.” He definitely has a concussion, and he’s definitely about to pass out.

“God damn it Jacobi.” The last words they hear before they lose consciousness.

\- - 

When they wake up for the first time, they’re in the back of the van. He’s pretty sure they’re moving, and there’s someone leaning over him, pressing hard against his side, the bullet wound, and _damn_ that hurts, but hopefully it means he’s bleeding out slower. He hopes its Maxwell, because she _cannot_ drive, but he quietly calls him Mr Jacobi in that god damn voice and he knows it’s Kepler. He sounds genuinely panicked, which they would definitely gloat about if they had the ability. They don’t have time to worry any more about how much is wrong with this situation – namely, everything – before they pass out again.

\- -

The second time he wakes up, he thinks he’s in the medical wing of the Goddard SI5 building. They’re also fairly certain that someone is _carrying them_ in their arms, which fucking hurts – they’re also fairly certain the someone is Kepler; Alana isn’t strong enough to carry them (they’ve tried – it did not end well.) The ringing in their ears has subsided, at least a bit, but that’s not really comforting because they know what Kepler and Maxwell’s shoes sound like against the horrible linoleum floor of the medical wing, and they can’t really hear it right now. He tries to say something along the lines of “ow”, but he’s not sure if it was actually audible and he’s unconscious again before he gets a response.

\- - 

The next time they properly wake up, not just half conscious while people try to put their broken body back together, Alana is yelling at Kepler outside of the room – he assumes from her tone that she’s yelling anyway, but she’s not particularly loud. They hold off on announcing that they’re awake, wanting to hear what the others are talking about.

“They could have _died_ , sir, and that would have been on _your_ hands!”

“Thank you for that _stunning_ assessment Dr Maxwell, I hadn’t noticed that myself.” Kepler is significantly more difficult to hear than Alana, so he moves to sit up and lean closer to the door - momentarily forgetting about his _many_ broken bones.

“Fuck!” They hadn’t meant to speak, but as soon as they do Alana and Kepler stop bickering in the hallway and a second later the door to their room swings open.

Kepler says something – they know he does; his lips move – but he’s not speaking loud enough or Jacobi to actually be able to hear him, which is weird considering Kepler is not a quiet person.

“I’m going to need you to repeat that at a volume that can actually be heard by humans, sir.”

They see the look of confusion pass over both Kepler’s and Alana’s faces, and knows that something has been lost in translation here. Alana steps closer before speaking.

“Can you hear me now?”

“Yes Alana, thank you for speaking at a reasonable-“ it occurs to him that Maxwell sounds only fractionally quieter than she had in the hallway, which probably means that they _had_ been yelling in the hallway, which means that the bomb not only broke several bones but also fucked up his hearing, which in hindsight makes the past however many hours make far more sense. Alana sees the sudden shock and realisation painting their face and sits on the bed beside them, taking the hand that isn’t in a cast in a comforting gesture. She doesn’t say anything, and Kepler is still standing by the door; they’re both obviously leaving it up to him to speak first.

“So. About that.”

“We didn’t know how severe it would be until you woke up, but the shockwave from the bomb effectively-”

“Alana.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

Kepler finally speaks. “One of the doctors from Pryce’s lab is going to make you some hearing aids. It’ll take a little while, but-”

“They might help, but it’s down to you if you want to use them. They won’t take your hearing back to how it was before, but they should help.”

“I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

“And we’ll – I’ll – be here to help you adjust.”

“I know. Thank you, Alana.”

“And I’ll be having a discussion with Mr Cutter about the risk of the missions he sends us on, at least without forewarning.”  
“What he means to say, is that this shouldn’t happen again.”

“I’m not going to put either of you in a situation where you don’t know what you’re getting into or don’t accept any personal risk that comes with it. I’ll do my best to keep you safe. That’s a promise.”

(That’s not a promise.)

(Jacobi gets shot a total of seven more times on SI-5 missions, stabbed at least three, and comes away with several more severe burn scars – not including their time on the Hephaestus. Most of the missions are ones he had been ‘asked’ to go on by Kepler. Alana has opinions about that.)

* * *

_May 10th, 2016_

Daniel Jacobi’s best friend is dead and they have never been further past the point of no return. Their – Alana Maxwell is dead. And it’s _his_ fucking fault that they couldn’t do _anything_ to fix it. He doesn’t even know if he’s talking about himself or Kepler, but he’s angry and reckless and he feels _betrayed_. Minkowski _shot_ Alana, and Kepler ordered them to stand down, and _they listened_. And now he’s shut in a room with one of the people who played an enormous part in his best friend’s death, and he can’t get anywhere near the other person to blame anyway, so Kepler is going to get his anger.

“Mr Jacobi.”

“Fuck you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, fuck. You. _Sir._ ”

“And I say again, I beg your pardon? I really think you’re misplacing your anger here Mr Jacobi.”

“Y’know, I don’t think I am. You see, I seem to recall _somebody_ making me and Alana a promise somewhere in the vein of _keeping us alive_.”

“I said I would do my best to keep you safe, Mr Jacobi, which I have always done to the best of my ability.”

Jacobi hears a nagging voice in their head that sounds far too much like Alana to ignore, quite simply say ‘bullshit’.

“See, I really don’t think you have, but how about you stop talking to me and we agree to disagree.”

(Jacobi had taken far too much pain in his lifetime, even in childhood, to give a shit when Kepler was just hurting them. However, Alana is – was an entirely different story.)

(Jacobi recognises that he’ll have to work with Kepler to get them out of this situation. That doesn’t mean they won’t put a bullet in his skull at the first opportunity.)

* * *

 _July 25th, 2015_  
Daniel Jacobi had, probably, never actually experienced real romantic love before. Which is probably why they latch onto any and all affection given to them – especially if that affection is given by Warren Kepler. Which probably explains why Jacobi decided at some point to say ‘fuck it’ to their dignity and any sense of decorum. It’s probably in part because the effect of being _literally in space_ hasn’t worn off yet. The Urania only launched ten days ago, so he feels like he’s perfectly within his rights to be a bit giddy. He’s found space interesting since he was a kid, though he supposes all kids do, to some extent. They figured they were fucked on that front when they got rejected from the Air Force, but here they are, in space, with their best friend and their- and Kepler.

Every so often they’ll float into a room where Maxwell is working (they’re still enjoying the novelty of no gravity) and announce, in possibly the happiest voice she’s ever heard them use:

“We’re in _space_.” 

He’d deny it at gunpoint though; he maintains that he is and always will be a bad person. Alana is inclined to agree, at least with the first bit, but so is she and it’s not news to either of them. 

They did the same to Kepler a few times, but on the third or fourth time Kepler oh-so-politely threatened to shoot them if they did it again, and that interaction ended with Alana floating into the comms room and seeing them kissing. She threatened to throw them both out of the airlock, but Jacobi found that he literally did not care. So yeah, dignity out the window, along with propriety – at least when Kepler will give into his attempt to get affection, which is happening more and more often now that they’re on the Urania, and frankly Maxwell is sick of walking in on them ‘being affectionate’.

Although affection is a very loose word for whatever the fuck goes on between them if you ask Alana. Jacobi makes a point not to. Last time they had a conversation about that was over a year ago, and it did not go well. In fact, it probably went as far from ‘well’ as it was possible for the two to get without them literally killing each other. It went something along the lines of:

_May 23rd, 2014_  
“I told him I loved him.”

“Again? On purpose?”

“Yes, and no. Well. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“And what did he say?” She already knows the answer will be exactly the same as the first time, considering she’s fairly sure, even without asking, that the circumstances were the same. Her suspicions are confirmed when Jacobi doesn’t answer.

“He didn’t say anything, again, did he? Daniel, this isn’t, this isn’t good for you. You must have noticed how much more dangerous the situations he’s sending you into are. He’s using you.”

“He _trusts me_ Alana, because I _do my job._ ”

“You have been shot _three times_ in the past nine months. He’s going to get you _killed_.”

“Maybe he should. It’s not like-”

“Daniel, no!” She pauses. “This isn’t what love is.”

“And what the hell would you know about it?” 

They know, as soon as the words leave their lips, they’ve crossed a line – Alana looks like they’ve just slapped her; but he’s angry and it’s mostly at Kepler and himself because somewhere deep down he knows Alana’s right but he refuses to accept that so he’s lashing out. Alana’s face goes scarily blank and she refuses to look at them as she speaks.

“Apparently a lot more than you do, _Jacobi_. It’s not like I’m the person whose patched you up every time he’s fucking broken you. Oh wait, _yes, I am._ If I didn’t know – if I didn’t _hope_ that you have some modicum of sense in your fucking head, I’d think you like the fact that he treats you like shit. You’re disposable to him, _you dumb fuck!_ And you don’t even care! Do you like being the victim in his sick fucking games? I’ve told you _so many times_ and you’ve done nothing to get out of this situation! It’s a fucking cycle Daniel, and its only going to break if you do or you walk away.” She knows she’s crossed a line too, but she’s not backing down now; she’s hurt and angry and she’s had enough. They need to see sense, and if this is the only way then she’s going to do what she needs to.

Jacobi ended up storming out of their apartment and sleeping in the break room at work on the horribly uncomfortable sofa. They’d woken to a crick in their neck and a headache. He can sort of hear Alana in her office down the hall, listening to the radio loudly and no doubt working on some new technology. He’s not sure what the song is, but the baseline that he can hear is catchy. They know that they’re more in the wrong than she is after the argument from yesterday, and considering they’re fairly sure it’s only half past seven in the morning, coffee is definitely the best peace offering. Ironically, when he gets to her office with a coffee (no milk, one sugar), there’s a steaming mug of coffee sat on the table by the door, and judging by the fact that it smells like vanilla, Alana had the same idea of coffee peace offering as him.

“I heard you using the coffee machine in the break room.” Not a greeting, and he’s not sure if they’re okay yet.

“Must be a perk of having fully working ears; I did not hear you using the coffee machine in here.”

She snorts at that, suppressing a smile, and he’s pretty sure they’re alright. They ask anyway.

“Are we good?”

“In the moral sense?” She sees them open their mouth to reply and continues without waiting for a response, “because, no, absolutely not. We, however, will be great once you give me that cup and help me with this calculation.”

So, he does, and they are.  
* * *  
_September 28th, 2016_

 _Thank you, Daniel. And goodbye._ What the fuck kind of parting words are those? Jacobi’s sat with Eiffel and Lovelace in the bridge of the Urania. No one’s speaking, but the companionship is comforting. Eiffel decided to stop listening to his old recordings, at least for the time being, citing ‘he sounds like an arsehole’ as the reason, which startled the first real laugh out of Jacobi in a while. They’ve been thinking since the Urania left Wolf 359, now that they finally have the time and space to do so. Alana and Kepler are dead. They’re dead, and they’re gone, and he’s – 

_“What am– I’m concerned about–“  
“Oh, you’re concerned? Where was your concern for the two weeks you let your bosses use me like a wind-up monkey?”  
“Yeah, what was I supposed to do?”  
“How about a little bit of anything?”_

_“Great. Door’s right there.”  
“Jacobi–“  
“Do let it hit you on the way out.”_

He’s going back to earth and he’s going to be alone. Well. Lovelace has made them promise that they’ll help her tear Goddard to the ground, and there’s no way they’d pass that up, not after everything they’ve done to the people they care about. He supposes, as much as he might not be happy about it, he’s stuck with this group of idiots now. Trauma in space that only four – five – people survive probably tends to create lifelong bonds, even if you don’t really want them. For now, though, Jacobi tries to focus on compartmentalising the events of the past 36 hours. 

Hera had called them aside just after they’d started on their way back to Earth with a simple “You’ll probably want to see this.”  
‘This’ turned out to be an extremely glitchy video from one of the airlocks. He looks past the appalling quality, because this is probably from when Hera was inside Eiffel’s head, and the picture isn’t really the important part anyway. The important part is Kepler, saying -

 _“I am still a person. Which means I’m on Jacobi and Minkowski’s side. Even if they don’t think I am.”_  
It takes all of Jacobi’s effort not to cry, and they have to ask Hera to turn the video off when the airlock door closes; Eiffel asking them if they’re alright tells them that they hadn’t actually succeeded at not crying. He considers quipping back at Eiffel, saying something like “Do I _look_ alright?”, but having the shit beaten out of him and having not slept for over 24 hours mean that he doesn’t have the energy or the heart, so he just shakes his head and waits for Eiffel to walk away. Being offered a hug is absolutely not what they expected to happen next, and they just stare for a moment before Eiffel says “or not”, almost too quietly or Jacobi to hear, even with his hearing aids. He nods, and Eiffel hugs him, and it’s weird, because no one’s hugged him since Alana before they left Earth, but it’s also nice.

Now they’re in the bridge, and Lovelace is asking if she’s ever told them about the time she and Fischer pranked Lambert by hiding his stuff around the Hephaestus. She hasn’t, and she’s obviously trying her best to distract everyone from thinking about the past few days, so he lets Eiffel lean against his side and they listen to the story until Hera speaks up to tell them that –  
“Minkowski’s awake.”

* * *

_“Jacobi… What about Kepler?”  
A moment, a pause, before he speaks.  
“No.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s… alright. You can’t save everyone, I suppose.”_

**Author's Note:**

> while trying to date the sections for this disaster (thank god for the timeline wiki) i discovered that conceivably, 'things that break other things' _could_ have happened in january because there was only three 24ths that were also tuesdays (thank you no complaints) in 2012, one of which was january, so i didn't actually fuck with the timeline that much (apart from maxwell but i love her so she got brought in earlier)


End file.
